Noah (angelbob) wrote,
Noah
angelbob


There was a young lady I spent a lot of time with about a year and a half ago. We never dated really, certainly not if you count based on, say, sex. We never kissed, certainly never did anything more, though we did a lot of vaguely datelike things (cooking, hiking, I helped her move) together for a few months. I was hoping for more, but she wasn't interested, and the time together was still pretty good. We were both recovering from old relationship problems at the time so it's probably just as well we didn't date.

It ended badly. She realized at some point that I wasn't going to stop being interested in pursuing her, even though I'd long ago stopped making overtures -- she knew I wasn't likely to act on it, but she also knew I kept hoping. That bothered her enough that she just stopped responding. It took me quite awhile to find out what was up. I was pushier than I probably should have been. In this culture it's assumed that when somebody hasn't responded to you at all in a few weeks you should have the good grace to shut up and move on. She wound up being angry, I remained confused, but it was obvious she was having nothing further to do with me. I finally *did* shut up and move on.

It was a shame. She was fun to hike and cook with. We both sort of wanted somebody to take care of, but not really, and I liked the way that dynamic worked.

I got email from her today. It basically said that she knew she'd treated me badly and owed me an apology. She asked how things were going.

I've sent a note back saying that all is well, that I'm dating somebody now (probably reassuring to her), and that I'd be interested in spending time together again if she would. Guess I'll see how it goes.

And for the record, folks, she really wouldn't be likely to do the poly thing. Take my word for it. Yeah, you wipe that innocent look off your face. I know what you were thinking.
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