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12 July 2008 @ 08:36 pm
Doctor Robert (Rey)  
The other day, as my wonderful wife was in a store shopping for underwear, I saw a rather sleazy-looking fellow staring back at me from the extra-supportive (i.e. girdles) section. That wouldn't be so surprising, but the odd bit was that he was printed on the packaging, not just somebody in a trenchcoat standing in the women's underwear section.

His picture really bothered me, particularly because he was 1) claiming to be a doctor, 2) selling a product based on his presumed authority in this position, and 3) wearing a doctor's outfit that doubles as a tank top. He looked like a stubbly gym-rat with too much hair product that had been told, "we're taking a picture for a porn movie cover. Try to look like a doctor!"

It didn't help that with the name "Doctor Robert Rey," I kept finding Doctor Robert by The Beatles going through my head... Which led to me pestering rightkindofme with most of the same things I'm pestering you all about right now. But she can't take me off her default reading filter as easily ;-)

Because the internet is a wonderful, horrible place that will give you anything you want to know, and absolutely everything you don't, I can share that picture with you all. Don't thank me. Please.

Without further ado, Doctor Robert:

(Now imagine him staring out of a package of extra-butt-hugging women's underwear)
mollenamollena on July 13th, 2008 04:03 am (UTC)
Dr. Robert can palpate my cervix any time he wants.

He still does not, however, beat out the worlds best cunt practitioner who has ever had the honor of peeking into my punani, and that was Dr. Liberacio Mykul (pronounced McCool).

To this day I am outrageously proud I made a hot OBGYNN blush. Aah, good times.

Edited at 2008-07-13 08:03 am (UTC)
rbusrbus on July 13th, 2008 01:21 pm (UTC)
may i tell you a short, but true story?

my mom (who was then 82 years old) was having "female trouble" (her words) that required her 30-something obygyn-kenobi to suggest a "cervical cuff."

"one drawback"
young dr. explained
"is that you won't be able to have sex."

my mom smiled sweetly, touched him on the hand, and said
"oh, you mean just *that* kind of sex, don't you?"
vito_excalibur on July 14th, 2008 04:01 am (UTC)
What, she asked in horror, is a "cervical cuff"?
rbusrbus on July 14th, 2008 03:58 pm (UTC)

"it tightens up my droops"

i didn't ask for any more detail that that.
and won't.
no matter how much i'm paid.
Vvvvexation on July 14th, 2008 10:14 am (UTC)
Might you be persuaded to tell us just how you made him blush?
Stone of stumbling and rock of offense: coochiewordweaverlynn on July 13th, 2008 07:44 am (UTC)
Wanna play doctor?
rbusrbus on July 13th, 2008 01:15 pm (UTC)
i'm gonna sue for use of personal image without permission.
i shoulda *never* got those glamor shots made...
rbusrbus on July 13th, 2008 01:24 pm (UTC)

by the way:

you should see his wife: hubba hubba!
(Deleted comment)
Noahangelbob on July 14th, 2008 07:34 pm (UTC)
I wasn't paying quite that much attention. Mainly his image was emblazoned on all the packages.
rbusrbus on July 14th, 2008 08:46 pm (UTC)
"wear these and your ass won't sag so much?"
only with more marketing rubbed on it.