Noah (angelbob) wrote,

A Brave New Different World

There's a fellow named Bucky Covington that you probably haven't heard of, unless you listen to country music radio. He placed eighth in one season of American Idol, and sings a nostalgia song called "A Different World". I'm writing about the latter. I hope you find it enlightening and/or amusing... :-)

It's all about how things weren't so bad way back when. Starting with the first line, here's how it goes:

We were born to mothers who smoked and drank

Yes. Yes, they were, and the infant mortality rate at the time says it wasn't a great idea.

Our cribs were covered in lead based paint

Mr Covington was actually named William Joel Covington III. And despite looking sixteen in most of his pictures, he's actually my age, so close as to make no difference -- he was born in 1977. So the chances of his crib being covered in lead-based paint seem pretty low to me, but hey, let's give him this one on principle.

No child proof lids, no seat belts in cars

No seat belts in cars? Those have been basically standard since the fifties... They were certainly standard in any semi-modern car by the time I was three or so. But I guess we're supposed to ignore Bucky's age? That'd also make the "no childproof lids" claim a little more reasonable.

Rode bikes with no helmets and still here we are, still here we are

Well, sorta. Again, the infant mortality rate says that only some of 'em are here... Then again, "rode bikes with no helmets" suggests it's not infants any more, so the overall death rate is probably more accurate. And there, he's got a point. So okay, bike helmets apparently don't help hugely with people surviving. And what's a little brain damage between friends?

But it looks like "still here we are" means, "well, everybody survived who mattered, right?" Looks a little different when you phrase it that way, doesn't it?

We got daddy’s belt when we misbehaved

I'll give him this one. Mostly because I'm not sure how you'd get statistics on why this isn't the best idea.

Had three TV channels you got up to change

Again, he's my age. I call foul. I mean, it was about this bad in my house, but we specifically let the TV antenna stay broken for over a decade. And we were in rural, middle-of-nowhere East Texas.

No video games and no satellite

Oddly enough, it looks like playing video games has some definite upsides for society, but the ones I'm thinking of tend to, again, just result in a lower death rate. And apparently Bucky doesn't much care about that.

All we had were friends and they were outside, playin’ outside

Not a bad thing. Not really a change, either. Whatever the local news would have you believe, kids do still play outside.

It was a different life
When we were boys and girls
Not just a different time
It was a different world

It's amazing just how small a change it takes to make a brave new world, isn't it?

Okay. There's more, but I'm not picking it apart. What have we learned?

My vote? That ol' William Joel Covington the third, while he's got some combination of misleading opinions and outright lies, is doing the best he can. I mean, it's not accurate, but it's pretty good for a guy whose crib was covered in lead-based paint.

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