Doing My Best
You, my friend, need a gay friend. A fun-lovin', presentable, passable male homo who wants to go out drinking with you, will get shit-faced with you, and, when he notices a girl checking you out or you checking out a girl, will push you in the girl's direction or walk up to her and ask if his cute but painfully shy straight friend can buy her a drink. Women love cute-but-shy guys with gay friends. Trust me.
You can return the favor by going to gay bars with your gay friend, getting shit-faced with him, dancing shirtless with him, and telling anyone who hits on you that you're hopelessly straight but that your gay friend here is single and awesome.
Finally, DMB, if your gay friend hooks you up with the woman you wind up marrying, he not only gets to be your best man, but he also has the option of blowing you immediately before the ceremony. The gay mafia is pretty strict about enforcing this last provision.
From Savage Love, by Dan Savage, Sept 6, 2006
