Noah (angelbob) wrote,

This week, Rob says:

If you're like most people, you have an ailment you've learned to live with. It's bothersome though not incapacitating. Maybe you've tried various treatments for it, but it never quite goes away, or it recedes for a while and returns in force. That's the bad news. The good news, Gemini, is that you now have extra power to zap that nagging malady. I suggest you start the process by having a dialogue with the affected part of your body. Explain to it why you really want it to heal itself now. Next step: Devote yourself to doing the research and getting the help that brings a total cure.

I have something along these lines that I've been pondering. Not fallout from my accident - that's all healing quite well. No clue how I'd *cure* that one, though.

I do best when I'm in crisis. When I'm overstimulated, my stomach is knotted and hurts from stress, I'm underslept, and I have three things that need to get done *now*... My mind just sings. When things suck and I'm bracing for impact, I'm also up - my heart beats faster, my mind works better, my motivation is *way* better...

And this doesn't lead to a calm life. It leads to drama. It leads to an all-or-nothing problem-solving approach. It's part of the reason I say things like "I'd rather set the drapes on fire than be bored." It's why if you ask me, "what would you like to do for a living if money was no object" I give uniformly life-endangering answers like "firefighter".

I've been settling down to a more and more normal life, to a life with some degree of stability, and some amount of stuff that works right, and some number of people (friends, girlfriends, even coworkers) I'm not in the process of moving on from... And that stability is pretty naturally incompatible with that set of reactions.

How do I get around that? I have no clue. No idea.

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