July 12th, 2008

move my eye level above your crotch

Doctor Robert (Rey)

The other day, as my wonderful wife was in a store shopping for underwear, I saw a rather sleazy-looking fellow staring back at me from the extra-supportive (i.e. girdles) section. That wouldn't be so surprising, but the odd bit was that he was printed on the packaging, not just somebody in a trenchcoat standing in the women's underwear section.

His picture really bothered me, particularly because he was 1) claiming to be a doctor, 2) selling a product based on his presumed authority in this position, and 3) wearing a doctor's outfit that doubles as a tank top. He looked like a stubbly gym-rat with too much hair product that had been told, "we're taking a picture for a porn movie cover. Try to look like a doctor!"

It didn't help that with the name "Doctor Robert Rey," I kept finding Doctor Robert by The Beatles going through my head... Which led to me pestering rightkindofme with most of the same things I'm pestering you all about right now. But she can't take me off her default reading filter as easily ;-)

Because the internet is a wonderful, horrible place that will give you anything you want to know, and absolutely everything you don't, I can share that picture with you all. Don't thank me. Please.

Without further ado, Doctor Robert:


(Now imagine him staring out of a package of extra-butt-hugging women's underwear)