September 6th, 2006

porn because of all of this

From this week's Savage Love

I'm a recent college grad who's having a tough time meeting a nice girl. I'm above-average in terms of looks (I work out regularly) and I'm pretty smart (I went to a top school). My problem is that I'm not outgoing, but very shy. This is probably the reason I'm not a big fan of the bar scene. Is there some way or place I can meet cute, smart girls in a more comfortable setting? Thanks.

Doing My Best




You, my friend, need a gay friend. A fun-lovin', presentable, passable male homo who wants to go out drinking with you, will get shit-faced with you, and, when he notices a girl checking you out or you checking out a girl, will push you in the girl's direction or walk up to her and ask if his cute but painfully shy straight friend can buy her a drink. Women love cute-but-shy guys with gay friends. Trust me.

You can return the favor by going to gay bars with your gay friend, getting shit-faced with him, dancing shirtless with him, and telling anyone who hits on you that you're hopelessly straight but that your gay friend here is single and awesome.

Finally, DMB, if your gay friend hooks you up with the woman you wind up marrying, he not only gets to be your best man, but he also has the option of blowing you immediately before the ceremony. The gay mafia is pretty strict about enforcing this last provision.

From Savage Love, by Dan Savage, Sept 6, 2006
2013 work pic (2)

(no subject)

This week, Brezsny tells the Gemini:

This week I highly recommend that you NOT sit on a photocopier to create images of your buttocks. For reasons too complex to go into here, doing so would put you out of alignment with the cosmic flow. However, now is an excellent time for you to make other strong statements that involve your backside, at least metaphorically. For instance, you will attract fate's favors whenever you get your ass in gear to get to the bottom of things. Luck will also flow your way in direct proportion to how earnestly and rigorously you kick your own butt.

Fair enough. So far the butt-centered week is off to a good start. Well, okay, a traumatic good start. Right, rightkindofme?