Brezsny, for instance:
Memorize the lines below, which were written by George Bernard Shaw, and deliver them to the one with whom you'd most like to make beautiful music together. If there is no human you feel moved to address so tenderly, speak them to a pet, muse, angel, or yourself. "You are my inspiration and my folly. You are my light across the sea, my million nameless joys, and my day's wage. You are my divinity, my madness, my selfishness, my transfiguration and purification. You are my rapscallionly fellow vagabond, my tempter and star. I want you."
This reminds me, a little, of one of the first of his horoscopes that I ever read. I was hooked, but that happens when something so simple does so much good for you.
Ah, well. As the excellent Irish telephone installer from Orange County points out, life is just exactly weird enough. He also points out that 90% of those installing DSL use it only for porn, but that's a different topic.