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24 February 2017 @ 10:35 pm
This smacked me between the eyes...  
"Why Does Dating Men Make Me Feel Like Shit?"

It's a great article. It's worth the read. It's not the kind of basic "men suck" article you might think from just the title. She thinks through a number of consequences of what she says - though she doesn't have an answer, just a question.

The idea that "male sexuality is basically creepy and undesirable" is very common. There's argument about who bears the blame for it, and how it should be minimized and contained, and what to do about the horrible problem of men wanting sex, but... It's basically agreed on by liberals and conservatives that it *is* a problem and a shame. Even hard-core patriarchy has a fair bit of this: male sexuality is a horrible thing, triggered by females being horrid temptresses, and if only the poor men weren't so afflicted... Women are *blamed* by patriarchy for the problem, but it's still considered a problem.

Yeah. There's definitely a basic idea that "a guy being horny is bad", pretty much across the spectrum.

I'm dismayed but not surprised to hear that the shame is at least as bad for gay men.