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28 May 2008 @ 09:26 pm
[baby filter] Symphony  
I have an impressionable young offspring now, so it's important to begin the malajustment early. However, while Shanna's language skills are so limited, there's only so much warping I can successfully do. So I figure a campaign of language improvement is first on the agenda.

With this in mind, I make sure that when she's especially chatty (that means mostly little squeaks and grunts) I mimic her sounds back at her in between chatting with her normally in English. When she hiccups, I do a little jump a moment later.

You can *see* her little confused face. She can tell something is very, very odd about this whole experience, and she knows it's related to the sounds she and I are both making. It's a little early for her to understand just what, though...

I figure it's better I play around with her now. Because if I start using up my self-control already, it'll be way harder for me to suppress my really *good* awful ideas when she's older (e.g.: read her the original "Peter Pan", then convince her we have to go door-to-door and get people to believe in fairies, or Tinker Bell will die).
 
 
 
Kitty: faeriescyclothemia on May 29th, 2008 08:44 am (UTC)
Hahahaha that's AWFUL I love it :D
satyrlovesong on May 29th, 2008 02:10 pm (UTC)
Hey! I believe in fairies!
(Deleted comment)
Kittywhipsnkisses on May 29th, 2008 03:02 pm (UTC)
ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!

Imagine this x10 and you now know why I should never spawn.

Glad we've got you two in order to carry on intelligence, humor, geekdom and warped minds in the human race.
Anselmribbin on May 29th, 2008 03:52 pm (UTC)
Warp speed!

*ba-dumb psh*
BlackSheepblacksheep_lj on May 29th, 2008 06:57 pm (UTC)
Warping.....er.....molding?....little minds is the best part of being a parent. I'm happily awaiting the time when I can teach my little girl that our favorite dinner is "roadkill stew."

It's wonderful to hear your tales of glee and your evil masterplan for the future.
(Deleted comment)
vito_excalibur on May 30th, 2008 04:01 pm (UTC)
I would like to apologize in advance for the fact that I will be accidentally calling your baby "Sha-na-na" in my head every time I read her name.

You may, if you like, petition the involuntary association to be changed to "Shanna the She-Devil".
Krissyrightkindofme on May 31st, 2008 01:29 pm (UTC)
That doesn't sound so bad. Likes animals, is hella buff, takes no shit from the gun lobby? I can handle that. :)
rbusrbus on May 31st, 2008 08:39 pm (UTC)
you should know
that you may get scolded
my mom and teachers
if you take things too far.

i got in trouble
for using the kid's phrases
instead of the "real" words
(ie: "spill me a cup of drink")
and was told me teaching them sign language
would delay their vocalizations.

of course,
now *everyone's* teach their babies
sign language.

fucking experts.
i hate 'em.
rbusrbus on May 31st, 2008 08:58 pm (UTC)
it takes a little bit for them
to understand the whole idea of past, present, future.

i've found an excellent test to be this....

hold finger and thumb about a foot away from the kid's face.
slowly pinch your fingers together
each time saying "boop!" in your baby-talk voice.

now, each time you pinch,
move your fingers about a couple inches closer to the kid's nose.

once it's within reach,
gently pinch the tip of the kid's nose
and say "beep!"

so, it's:
"boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, beep!"

if there's an understanding of what *gonna* happen
after a few repetitions
the kid lifts their nose in anticipation of the beep.

of course,
you could just play peek-a-boo.
but how the fuck boring is that?

also,
when one of my kids was crying and fussing
and fighting sleep
i used to ever-so-gently
pinch the bridge of their nose
and softly rock their head
from side-to-side.
just a tiny amount motion
and they'd fall right to sleep
almost every time.

of course,
the other times
they'd get really pissed off.

that's when i'd turn them over
to mom.
Noahangelbob on May 31st, 2008 09:18 pm (UTC)
I'm gonna remember these :-)
rbusrbus on June 1st, 2008 01:13 am (UTC)
especially the
"turn them over to mom"
part.
i_am_dshi_am_dsh on June 4th, 2008 04:43 pm (UTC)
:) I'm happy to read your parenting adventures.
Belated happy birthday, too!

I look forward to meeting Shanna after Kidlet & I are over our coughs.